A Dozen Ways to Murder a Church

If you would like to kill the work of our local congregation, then I have the perfect plan

1. Skip services often and encourage others to skip too.

2. When you do attend come in late and cause a little disturbance. While there, take a good nap.

3. Always be critical and nit-piky

4. Never volunteer to help, but always complain about the way the volunteers are doing things.

5. Even though you donít want to volunteer, still act annoyed and put when you donít get an important job.

6. If asked directly to give your opinion act like you donít have one. Later get on the phone and tell others how things should have been done in the first place.

7. Never do more than absolutely necessary, then accuse those who are doing the work of being a clique.

8. Withhold your contribution and tell-others why you donít think they should support the work either.

9. When you do-volunteer for a job, just do a half hearted mediocre job

10. Never compliment or encourage any of the members

11. Donít bother with converting anyone, but if you do, then make sure that they are as negative and disruptive as you.

12. Every time you hear some juicy gossip be sure to tell everyone you can. After all, it is your duty to proclaim the truth. Your brethren have a right to know.

If just a few members will follow this simple plan then wonít be long before the work slows to a stop, stagnates, and dies.

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